Robert Grindel
From Rags to Riches and everything in between Early Life Born on the rough and tough streets of South Central Northeastern most Southern tip of Idaho(Don't know where Jason K. got Milwaukee from). Started out with the career choice of making chocolate covered plastic straws but on one fine October day saw a hockey game and instantly fell in love. After much travel through parts of Nevada working as a male stripper, and breif stints of man whoring in St. Louis and Tennessee made it to Western Pennsylvania. The first 3 months in Western Pa were not as great as the brochures had said this place was. Much time was spent fighting bums for cans of beans, sleeping under bridges and hunting squirrels for food. The Sad Journey to Pittsburgh Born on September 13th, 1986 when the nuclear reactor exploded in South Central Northeastern most Southern tip of Idaho. A combination of mustard gas, radioactive particles, Italian Sausage skin and some burger grease had created as being so horrifying, so mystical that he had to survive on his own until the age of 3 when a pack of rabid beavers had taken me in. Building dams day and night filled most of my time only breaking to enjoy the occasional berry medley and nut assortment. Once I had gotten to that age where I wasn't able to be with my beaver family anymore I had moved on to living with crazy Joe and his crackhead friend Slap me silly Sal. At age 10 I had started a Bum Fighting ring called Dirtball Fight Club for middle aged homeless guys, wheeling and dealing with the bum s from the westnorthern southern most tip of the east end in downtown Idaho. One day while taking bets, the leader of the El Diablo Ball Gags came to me with a business proposistion that would merge both fight clubs and would split the money 50/50, but the deal went south when I had stolen a 10 speed Huffy from one of the leaders of the El Diablo Ball Gags and the put a hit out on my head for $3.50. Scared and homeless I had taken the 10 speed on a road trip to Vegas .Vegas was a blast at first but quickly got expensive once people stop taking blow jobs as payment for cheeseburgers and lines of coke. Bouncing back and forth between stripping and peeling road kill from local highways got a job cleaning toilets at the local bar in the neighborhood. After about 4 years and people shitting on me, got the courage to start my own business of making tin foil tampons for the blind and selling them for a mayjor profit. Once people started catching on to what i was doing they revolted against me and had thrown me out of Vegas. One day walking through the desert drinking urine and eating random bugs there was a guy looking for some strong guys to help him build an Ark, but knowing about people that build Ark's decided to road runner that shit out of there and head for greener pastures in St Louis. St Loius was an easy place to really make it in, doing odd jobs like mowing grass, walking dogs and washing windows on the houses for blind people. One day approached my a man in a business suit that seen how big I was and how fast I was had taken me to see my first hockey game. So for the next 3 months or so I was breaking into peoples houses and using there computers to learn all about this sport they called hockey. Once I had really got the sport down to a science I had looked up on Craigslist if people were looking for people to play and stumbled upon a post by Ryan Cvejkus that was looking for "any asshole with a stick". So after contacting him and realizing that I'd have to blow my way to Pittsburgh I had prepared my jaws for some overtime but as long as it got me to the Burgh. The Good Old Hockey Days Once in Pittsburgh I found that the bridges were much nicer and provided more shelter from the rain and snow. The first game was the toughest for me getting used to playing with guys I have never played with before. Only guys I have ever pla yed with gave me money afterwards and threw me out of their cars. So after getting to know these guys a lit tle knowing they wouldn't take advantage of me in the blink of an eye and let my guard down a little and let them in my lif e. Gaining confidence that this was my home I set up shop just ouside the city but fell on hard times when the team disbanded and hadn't played for a while so i went back to my old tricks again hanging out behind bars doing coke and bum fighting. I still sell broken down cars to the homeless for cans of corn and diet coke, even though I still get calls for bum fights and late night coke sessions i have put all of that behind me and started going forward with my new profession of selling cars to the homeless or as I call it bumin rides. Playing Career Though I have never been heavily depended on to score I chip in from time to time scoring big goals. Mostly counted on to keep the balls out of our net. I think I've hit my career high this season with like 5 pts (2G 3A), thats about all your getting out of me. Started playing with these wild-ass jungle bunnies back in 2011 when we were the Sons of Guns and though I have not had the pleasure of winning a cup with these Rag-a-Muffins and I hope that one day we be able to hoist whatever trophy/cup we are able to win